Life

“For a city that can give you so much, can also ask for a lot from you. Kolkata is one such city. The city of joy demands complacency. It expects its inhabitants to remain content with the status quo and stability its offers to them. It has never been kind to people who constantly seek for more in life. It disproves the spirit of endless pursuit.”Anu was strongly moved by these words told to her by her boss. By now Mr. Basu has convinced Anu that Kolkata is not where she should have been born. She secretly agreed to him. Has she never thought that Kolkata is not for her? She knew that this city can be the best resort for an idealist but can never be a choice for people who seek for realism. This time Anu was resolute to give a shape to her thoughts.

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Anu just finished reading the new novel she got hold of. It has been a boring Saturday for her as usual. Lighting up a cigarette Anu opened the rear door of the verandah that was adjacent to her room. Often she has felt deprived and ignored in this city. So many times has she thought of breaking free from this mundane existence and getting hold of a life that she deserves. But how could she. There was only one tug that her heart has always felt and that was her mom (ma). She was the only string that tied her to a city that has never given her many reasons to be happy. Her only source of relief, her mom made up her entire existence. She can never part from that one person. How can she let go the only person who understands and accepts her as she is. Although Anu lived here for so many years and breathed the air of smugness, she never let it blew her. Occasionally she has been amazed by the cordiality and caresses of the city but could not help blaming it for being deaf to her needs and desires.She knew the unexciting existence of the city is too way far from what the rest of the planet is consumed in. Anu wanted to be a part of that planet. She desired emancipation. She longs for attention. Her beauty and poise have always identified her as an exception to the league. But she could not maintain it. Being writhed by these emotions she stood in front of the mirror of her bedroom. Her face has turned pale, her eyes are sparkless, her lips are dry and her hands wrinkled. She has started hating the mirror now. It reminded her of her loss. At once she pulled herself away from it and sat in the small couch that stood on the verandah. It was a chirpy evening. A sight of the street children playing took her to the childhood days. She was never that daring as a child. Her mother used to dress her up for the evening playoffs but she seemed more interested to sit by the park chairs and glare at young couples. Ofcourse she was an idealist then.Until late she believed her looks will make life a cake walk for her. But it never has been so! She is 27 now. Beauty has taken a diversion. She has lost half the grace and attitude that she bore in her youth. Although she admitted that the first blow to her innocence came with the expiry of her dad, she was always been a victim of the injustices of life. Her father was an esteemed mechanical engineer. A man of 41 who suddenly succumbed to the call of destiny. For not being able to anticipate the predestined, he failed to plan judiciously for the family. Anu was just 16 when he suddenly died of a heart attack. It was the first time when she confronted the naked reality of life. While most her friends spent their time in loitering and frolicking, she was driven by the hunt for pocket money.The feeling of losing her charm even before she could relish it,frequently batters her. She was unwantedly interrupted by the footsteps of someone approaching.

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After finishing off with her evening tea, Anu quietly pulled out the letter that she has been offered by her company. She has been relocated to Delhi.A better designation, higher pay, accommodation and a new way of life. What else could she have asked for? She wondered how she could inform this to her mom. She wavered as she recapitulated the incidence of her last holiday. She could never forgive herself for her mom’s illness that cropped after that. And this time it was relocation. But what else could she do without moving on in life. It is a reasonable offer. They have almost doubled her pay and on top they are providing an accommodation. She was certain to speak to her mother today immediately after she returns.Being all by herself on a Saturday evening is reason enough for her to leave the city. No friends, no relatives, not even a boyfriend, what at all does exist in this city to pull her back.She smiled as she thought Delhi would give her better Saturdays to remember. Ma might nag to come along but that would not be possible now, she assumed. She believed that her mom would be comforted on being told of her plans to take her along next time. She tried to relieve herself by thinking that she really doesnot know the place enough to take someone along and that too ma.The doorbell rings. Anu prepares herself. Its her mom and she will have to tell her now. It is just a week later that she needs to go. Tickets have been arranged. She could not delay this further. She was rattling these in mind when the bell rang again. She quickly stepped down the stairs to open the door. The door was opened to the maid. She hastens back to her room and looks at the clock. It was 7’o’ clock. Mom left sometime around 2 in the afternoon. The groceries place is just nearby. What is taking her so long she wondered?She impatiently sat at the study table. It is when she has something urgent to convey her that she is late. She picked up her mobile and tried to call her mom. The call went unanswered. She threw the mobile on the bed and lit the last cigarette she had kept for the night. The mobile rang. She hurried down to the bed and answered the call with a big hello. Anu turned dumb in no time. After 40 secs of patient hearing she kept the phone aside, burnt out the cigarette, took her hand bag and rushed out of the house.

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Quickly stepping out of the rickshaw, Anu ran to the reception of the Zenith Hospital. She asked “Mrs Radha Ghosal?”

“You are?” the receptionist asked.

 “Anubhuti Ghosal, her daughter”Anu said.

“Room number 401, 2nd floor” replied the receptionist. It seemed god has given her some extra strength this time. She ran through the stairs. Reaching second floor, she quickly stepped into the room and found a lady lying on the bed. From a distance the face was not visible. She was all wrapped in a white bed sheet. Doctors and nurses surrounded the place. She did not have the courage to enter through the crowd and look at her mom. Standing a little away from the entrance of that hospital room the only thing she prayed was the wellbeing of her mom. She was disconcerted by the murmur of the crowd. As she slowly approached inwards she heard what she never wanted to hear. “The lady in the bed passed away”, cited a nurse while crossing her. She stood shocked and silent. She withdrew herself to the bench and burst into tears. It seemed that her dream of emancipation has taken a toll on her. Mom was the last resort of her survival. She is all alone now, all by herself. What would she do now? How will she live? Whom will she talk to? She does not want to live anymore. Life has again dumped her. She felt betrayed and lost. Her sob became intense. She suddenly felt a cold touch on her shoulders. Anu turned is exasperation. It is her mom. She has a dressing wrapped around her forehead. Anu clasped her hand and curiously looked out for the bed with the lady in it.

Her mom said, “Did you see that young lady? She just passed away. Can you believe she was just 35? We were rushed to the hospital at the same time.”

“Where have you been so long?”Anu asked in desperation

“Room 401”, her mom replied.Anu quickly looked at the number plate of the room that lady was kept in. It was 402. She realized, at arrival she did not for once look for the number of the room. The receptionist did say it was 401 some how it slipped her mind? She was so damn frightened. Probably it’s the first time in life that Anu felt so helpless. She thanked god a million times for protecting her mom.Her mom was silent. Anu looked at her with a gratifying smile and asked “how are you now?“

“I am okay. They unnecessarily pulled me here for a random checkup which…”, before her mother could finish her statement, Anu gave her a deep hug. This is the moment she realized that there is nothing more she wants from life. She is happy with the way it is. Anu felt probably this was the reason she stayed here for so long. What would she have done if she had been away now? Her grip became firm.

Her mom warmly asked “what happened?”

“Promise me you will never leave me alone” claimed Anu.

Her mom answered in affirmation and hesitantly demanded “you too will have to promise me the same thing Anu”.

Anu guiltily replied “where will I go mom?” She left the bench and stood beside her.

Her mom revealed “I know they want you to move to Delhi. Isn’t it?” Her eyes are misty and her cheeks red.

“I came across the letter while cleaning your desk today morning” she continued. Anu quietly rested her head on her mom’s shoulders and said “No ma, it’s just an offer but I can’t accept it.” she stopped. Slowly pulling her head up Anu looked into her mom’s eyes“especially after what I felt today”Anu completed with a tone of assurance.

A blissful smile extended on her face. Her mom kissed her on the forehead. Anu held her by hands slowly moved towards the lift. They paid off the hospital bills and left for home.

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Good Wishes
Ria